April 1, 2025 – In an unprecedented move, the Balearic Islands have announced plans for a massive engineering project: a high-speed underwater tunnel connecting Mallorca, Ibiza, and Menorca. Dubbed the “Balearic Subsea Expressway,” or the BUNNEL as locals to both islands have started to call it, this state-of-the-art infrastructure project promises to revolutionise travel between the islands, cutting ferry times from hours to mere minutes.
The €15 billion project, spearheaded by an international consortium of engineers led by the world-renowned Dr. Salty McDiver, aims to construct a 150-kilometer-long tunnel beneath the Mediterranean Sea, accommodating both high-speed rail and electric vehicle lanes. The design will reportedly feature breathtaking “underwater observation windows” so passengers can enjoy views of marine life while zooming beneath the waves at 300 km/h.
A Vision for the Future
According to lead engineer Dr. Juan “Deep Dive” Submarino, the tunnel will be “a testament to human ingenuity and a commitment to sustainable travel.” He further explained that the structure will be reinforced with cutting-edge “aqua-titanium” technology, an innovative material that scientists claim is stronger than steel and as flexible as seaweed.
“Not only will this tunnel cut down on travel time, but it will also reduce ferry emissions by 95%, bringing the Balearic Islands one step closer to carbon neutrality,” added Submarino, while adjusting his snorkel.
Innovative Features
Among the proposed highlights of the tunnel:
- Bioluminescent lighting inspired by deep-sea creatures, designed by the famed illumination expert, Dr. Glowy McGlowface.
- A jellyfish avoidance system developed by marine biologist Professor Stingo Tentacola to prevent any potential “stinging disruptions.”
- An exclusive ‘VIP Seaview Lounge’ featuring glass-walled compartments for a luxury submarine-like experience, rumored to be curated by billionaire playboy Sir Finley Bubblesworth III.
- A rumored secret nightclub accessible only by scanning a QR code hidden within the tunnel, designed by legendary Ibiza DJ, MC Deep Bass Diver.
Skepticism and Excitement
While island residents and tourists alike are excited about the prospect of seamless inter-island travel, some skeptics have raised concerns about feasibility. “Are we sure this isn’t an April Fools’ joke?” questioned local fisherman Paco Marlin. “I mean, a nightclub at the bottom of the sea? Sounds a bit fishy to me.”
Nevertheless, officials remain optimistic, with some suggesting that Elon Musk’s Boring Company may be involved in the drilling process. Others claim that the project is being backed by an anonymous billionaire with a mysterious love for the Mediterranean, rumored to be named Captain Wave Rider.
Construction is expected to begin on April 1, 2026, with completion scheduled for April 1, 2030—provided the sea turtles approve the environmental impact report.